Today was a tick the ‘complete’ box for things.

Finished the estate paperwork and was able to send that off. Just need to wait for it to be processed and hopefully it won’t be too long before the house that was Mark’s will be able to become someone’s home again. It was really sad to leave it, a shell of a house, and that’s what it was, nothing more. It’s weird how quickly a house can cease to be a home.

I think the whole situation is beginning to hit me. I keep realising this is *permanent* – it’s not going to change and he’s not going to suddenly be available for a ‘quick chat to say that everything is ok’.

Had a long lunch with a friend from work who happened to have experienced something along the same lines in their own life but a few years ago. And they’re still living their life, moved on, but with the good memories of the past. I hope I can do this too.

Got home and chatted to a couple of other friends. It appears the building work is delayed and whilst this is slightly frustrating it’s not the end of the world and I might even take some time out with a paint roller and start the transformation of the bungalow for it’s new life.

Got to our local practice night this evening which was good to see everyone although I can’t say my enthusiasm was 100%. Came home thinking about the fact that Mark and I would normally chat on the phone after the practice and he’d ask me how it all went. So glad my brother was on the end of the phone tonight.

Reading all of this, it does feel quite downbeat, which is odd because I’ve actually felt OK today.